Funny You Should Ask
We were paying for gas at a convenience store and the kid behind the counter - who looked all of twelve to me - must be the new bifocals, asked the question, "No school today?" Sometimes, it's, "Why aren't you in school?" Sometimes, it's "Doctor's appointment?" My daughter usually answers, "I am in school. I'm an unschooler." Sometimes this stumps the chump who asked the question and they just smile and nod and we go on our way, each thinking that the other one just wasted a few minutes of prime talking time that could have been used to comment on the weather or Maine roads or whether it's too early to plant peas.
Sometimes though, we run into someone who isn't just asking to make conversation. These are people who firmly believe that kids should be in school and they don't hesitate to let us know that. "Don't you miss your friends?" is one of their questions. "Don't you worry about socialization?" "What about college?" "How will your kids ever learn to fit into the real world?" "Kids need to learn how to deal with bullies" (Or homework or doing things they don't want to do or fill in the blank.)
We got tired of answering these questions a long time ago, so I'm thinking of carrying a FAQ sheet around with me, so that I can hand it out. It'd save a lot of time. Here it is if you'd like to use it. If you think of anything I've forgotten to list, let me know.
Q.Why aren't you in school?
A. Why aren't you in therapy? A.Why would you ask? A.I'm still contagious. A.If I can't take my gun, I'm not gonna go. A.Head lice. A.My religion lets me marry at 9 and I'm on my honeymoon. A.Leprosy A.Psychiatrist appointment. A.I had to see my parole officer. A.Court date. A.My parents refuse to make me go to a place where I'm cooped up for six hours with 22 other kids my own age and completely separated from both the real world and the people who love me the most.
Q.Don't you miss your friends?
A.Yes, I wish they'd quit school so they could hang out with me and my unschooling friends.
Q. Don't you worry about socialization?
A. Yes. That's why my kids aren't in school.
Q.How will your kids learn to deal with the real world?
A.By watching reality shows, just like everyone else.
Q.No, really, you can't raise them in a bubble. What about the real world?
A.Please refer to the last answer to the first question on this list. Then consider that we're standing in this store/home/community/park/library/restaurant/rest room interacting with another human being with no artificial strictures on our conversation, thoughts or actions. Now, define real world.
Q. How will your kids learn to deal with bullies?
A. The same way they're taught to deal with them in school. They'll tell a grownup. The only difference is that they'll have a grownup who's paying attention and who'll actually protect them, which is what kids have the right to expect from grownups. When they get old enough, we'll help them learn to deal with bullies, but not until they have the maturity, experience and several self-defense lessons. (It's funny how there don't seem to be as many bullies outside of schools as inside.)
Q.What about college?
A.College shmollege. If you raise kids to know that they can do what they want, and college is what they want, they'll find a way to go.
Q.How will they ever learn anything/get a job/turn out right if you just let them do what they want?
A.How will they ever learn anything meaningful unless they're free to follow their interests and spend time on what's important to them? How will they know what kind of job they want unless they're encouraged to explore and not forced to learn what other people think they should learn? They know what's right by using their brains, their hearts and their judgement, the same way you and I know what's right. Gentle guidance works a lot better than scaring them into behaving.
Q. What do you do on your day off?
A. The same thing we do everyday: live, learn, love and laugh. A.Fight with my brother/sister and drive my mom crazy. (Actually, she's so close, it's a walk, not a drive.) A. Play Club Penguin and watch Jeopardy. A.Draw A.Read A.Run around outside. A.Play with friends. A.All of the above.
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12 comments:
The answers to the first question where hilarious. Very good FAQ!
I hate that question! I think the FAQ is a hilarious idea. I'm getting so tired of the questioning that I just might draft up a little brochure. Just for kicks.
I'm all over the brochure idea, unschooler. Why they don't just assume the kid has a doctor's appt is beyond me. After all, everyone knows that kids go to school unless they have an appointment, right?
Lill
Love it. I'd give a different answer for "how to deal with bullies" though.
In the "real world" if you punched the shit out of me, I'd call the cops on you. I taught my kid how to dial that number, too.
Unfortunately, the cell phone service here in Maine is abysmal, so that might not be an option. Luckily though, my youngest is never in situations where she can't get an adult's attention and my oldest lifts weights. I just read somewhere about a kid who took ballet, because he was always getting bullied. After awhile, he had a kick like a mule and was much more muscular, so no one bothered him. Interesting.
Lill
Great list--I'm going to link to your post from my site.
"College, Shmollage..."
I love it! Last week in Albuquerque two news stories shared the front page. In one, influential parents got an administrator to change a grade for a senior in high school so he could graduate with his class. In the other, a 12 year old home-schooler won the national Reader's Digest Word contest. Now which one will do better in college? Heh, heh.
You so totally rock! I've been wanting to create a similar list in response to the same irksome questions. Brilliant. I'm gonna cook up a list and wear it on a t-shirt perhaps.
LOL Great responses! Especially to number 1. LOL
Love the idea of the FAQ sheet! Maybe I should do that!!! Those were very funny! Thanks for the laugh today. :)
HA HA HA HA! (((((HUGS))))) sandi
I'm not quite a homeschooler yet, but loved this post! In telling people I'm planning to homeschool, I've had a few odd looks, but so far I haven't faced too many of these questions. I'm sure my turn will come so I'll remember this! Thanks for the fun.
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